Antidote For Lonliness and Failure
I have been falsely accused of a dishonest act. Everyone seems to think that I am guilty, but before God, I am innocent. What can I do when all are against me in this matter?
Men usually judge by appearances, and form their opinions of us in this way. Perhaps they did not even see you in a place where such a thing could be done. Nevertheless you are guilty in their opinion, and they may not change quickly.
The first thing to do is to make sure that you are not only without blame in the matter, but that you give no reason for their suspicions. You are being closely watched so that the opinions of men can be confirmed, if possible.
There is something more important. We must all finally give an answer to God only for our every act. You may have to bear the stigma of the rumor for many years. If it is without any foundation in fact, your conscience can be clear. There are many who would give their last dollar for a clear conscience. Thank God for that blessing. Thank God also that you are not afraid to stand in His presence, for if you have placed your trust in Christ, you have nothing to fear for eternity. You can depend on the Scripture that tells us that "Man looketh upon the outward appearance, but God looketh upon the heart."
There is a verse in the Bible that says "Whatsoever is born of God doth not commit sin." I used to think of myself as a Christian, but I know that I have sinned. Does that mean that I am not a child of God?
I think that you are referring to the Scriptures found in I John 3:9. Many people are confused by this verse. What it actually means is that whoever is begotten of God does not sin as a way of life or he does not continually practice sin. Don't let your failures or your weaknesses discourage you. If in your heart you desire to live in fellowship with God, and if you have confessed Christ as your Saviour, you have the assurance that His blood does cleanse all sin.
The verse should be translated thus: "Whatsoever is born of God doth not practice sin."
I feel frustrated because of my inability to make satisfactory adjustments to my business associates. I think I have tried the usual methods to make adjustments, but wondered if there might be some therapy in religion that would put me on the road to a more satisfactory adjustment?
Multitudes of people are frustrated in this day of extreme tension and keen competition. But to think of religion as being nothing more than a therapy is to have an inadequate concept of it. The true Christian faith is a new life, not merely making adjustment of the old life.
There are certain religious attitudes that may provide temporary relief. The Christian faith is more than means to an end, it is the end itself. It is a complete release from all of the old life and a discovery of a life that possesses an entirely new dimension. Yes, I can give you an answer to your problem, but unless you are ready to abandon your old life in favor of the new, you are just deceiving yourself. The new life, Paul describes, saying: "The life that I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me." This must begin by being "converted." This means "repenting" of sin and "receiving" Christ into your life. When this is done, a change takes place. You will find a new and dynamic power to help you live the Christian life.
I am a young man with average talents and, I believe, acceptable appearance and manners. I never seem to be able to make friends, because sooner or later those who seem to be friends all leave me. I need friends just as much as anyone does. Is there some hidden secret to this business of making and keeping friends?
No, there is no hidden secret in the matter of making and keeping friends. You make one statement in your letter that indicates why you cannot keep friends. You are selfish, and want friends for your own satisfaction. To have friends, you must first be friendly. You must offer your unselfish friendship to another and expect nothing in exchange. The deepest joy of abiding friendship is to have one upon whom you can lavish your friendship without demanding anything for yourself. This may sound strange to you, but it is the foolproof way to get a friend. The Bible offers the world's best example. It says of God that "We love Him because He first loved us." This is the completely unselfish love that sent Christ to Calvary and made atonement for our sins. You may think your problem has no religious implications, but it does. Man, left without God, is basically selfish. In conversion, this selfishness is exchanged for a selflessness. Christians find their joy in giving themselves even as Christ gave Himself, and they are never without the joy and satisfaction of friends.
I am a Christian girl, and am considered to be reasonably attractive. But I'm disappointed in that fellows just don't go for me. I'm like any girl, and would like to date. Is it possible for a girl to be too strait-laced for even nice boys?
No, not for the kind of boy you deserve. Remember that many dates are brought about by physical desire, and only incidentally because if genuine appreciation of the finer qualities one may possess. As one who is dedicated to Christ, you want more than a boy who is drawn to you physically.
As a Christian, you must believe that God has a plan for your life. Just as He has for every life. God once said to an ancient king, "I have surnamed thee though thou hast not known me" (Isaiah 45:4). Much more then, God has a plan for your life, seeing that you have given it to Him.
What it means is that somewhere there is God's choice of a young man for you, and you would never be happy with any other. Rather than to spend your energy being concerned over your problem, commit it to the Lord, and He will direct in this as in every other matter of life.
I married a man who claims he is a blue blood, and he has a superior attitude toward people who are not what he calls "blooded stock." At times he makes me feel very inferior because my folks came from the wrong side of the tracks. Can you help me?
If your husband wanted to retain pedigreed stock, why did he marry you, a commoner?
When a member of a prominent New England family boasted to Will Rogers that her ancestors came over on the Mayflower, the humorist, who was proud of his Indian blood, said, "My ancestors were here to meet them."
A great American who, according to your husband, was born on the "wrong side of the tracks" once said: "Our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation . . . dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal."
Those words of Abraham Lincoln were a reflection of the Christian ethic which says: "For there is no difference . . . he is a Jew who is one inwardly . . . in the spirit, and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God."
Sin cannot be bred out of men, and goodness cannot be bred into them, "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." All men stand in need of God's grace if they are to be the ladies and gentlemen they ought to be.
Both my brother and sister are very brilliant. I am just ordinary. They get many chances to do work in our church while I only get a few. This makes me feel very discouraged, for I feel the Lord can't use me like He does them. How can I avoid getting so discouraged?
No Christian, old or young, needs to be discouraged over such things. In the world there is stiff competition but in God's work there is none. The Bible plainly teaches that "To whomsoever much is given, much shall be required: and to whom they commit much of him will they ask the more" (Luke 12:48). What God expects, and all God expects, is that we dedicate completely all of our talents and gifts to Him. That is the meaning of the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. Read this parable, and you will see that we are always rewarded because of our faithfulness. You can be just as faithful as anyone and have the commendation of the Lord. Take the one talent you have, and invest it in eternal things. Some talented people lose their reward because they do things to be seen of men. Some untalented people lose their reward because they fail to dedicate what they have because it is not noticed by men. Both have sinned equally.
I've been in an accident and have an ugly scar on my face. I fear it will never go away. Do you think I should force myself to go out and meet people, even though I dread it?
Of course you should. Your life will be narrow and selfish if you shut out the world and think only of your own misfortune.
Your real problem is how to conquer your dread of people. The Bible says: "Fear not, for I am thy shield" (Genesis 15:1). As you go out the door of your home think of God as going before you, opening the eyes of all so they will see your heart and not your face. The real you can be beautiful, more lovely than ever before. Your suffering should have made you more sympathetic and understanding. It will not be hard for you to meet people if you think of them instead of yourself. Almost everyone has some trouble. Be eager to listen, to give your sympathy, and to say words of encouragement. Very few have no handicap. Accept yours, and ask God to help you forget yourself while you bring joy and comfort to others.
Since I came to Chicago I've been terribly lonely. My neighbors never speak to me. How can people in a Christian country be so cruel?
Have you ever thought that some of your neighbors may feel lonesome, too? You don't need to wait for them to speak first. Reach over the back fence and share something from your garden, or knock on the door of the next apartment and bring a bit of something you have been baking. On every side are people who will welcome a smile, and a friendly word.
Go to church on Sunday, and when the service is over don't hurry away. In the churches of Chicago, as in every town and city, there are warmhearted people who are eager to welcome a stranger into the Christian fellowship. You must do your part by giving them an opportunity.
There are thousands like you in every big city. But you don't need to be lonely. Christ is your friend, closer to you than a brother. Surrender your heart to Him, and you'll find He is with you wherever you are. He said: "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5). This is our Master's promise, and we can trust His word. With Jesus beside you, and Christian friends to support you, you can feel at home anywhere.
I should have graduated last June, but failed in my examinations. Now I can't get a decent job, and feel I'll never make good. Can you help me?
It isn't easy to be left behind, but it's never too late to make a fresh start. If you failed because you didn't do your best each day, this should be a lesson to you. You can't waste time today, and expect to make it up when the hour of testing comes. This is true in business as well as in school.
Now you can let your failure be an excuse to run away from life's challenge, or you can profit by it. Through the saving power of Christ you can, if necessary, live a victorious life even while doing dull, uninteresting tasks. The Bible says: "In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us" (Romans 8:37). We find this is true when we accept from Jesus the help He offers each one of us.
Ask God how He would have you use your life. Our Father has a work for each one of us. Go to your minister, and seek his advice. Then, whether you go back to school or get a job, get down on your knees each morning and pray that God will guide you. We all have resources within us that rarely are tapped. With God's help you'll discover hidden strength, and be able to accomplish many things you never could do alone.
