How to Be Happy Most of the Time
I am the mother of one illegitimate child and am expecting the second one. Recently I was converted. Where can I begin the new life and how can I leave the old life behind with two children born in sin?
When a group of Pharisees brought a woman to Jesus who had been taken in the act of adultery, Jesus asked them to cast a stone at her, whoever was without sin (John 8:1-11). When it appeared that there was no sinless one to cast the first stone, they departed. Then Jesus said to the woman, "Neither do I condemn thee, go and sin no more." Repentance and faith are genuine and valid when the sinner enters a new way of life. There may be the reminders of the past with you, but you can have this assurance that there is no sin that cannot be forgiven to those who desire the new life that comes about through our faith in Jesus Christ. Begin by being the mother you should be, praying for your children and bringing them up in the knowledge of Christ. The time will come when they will recognize the transformation wrought in your life.
I cannot forget the abortion that was performed on me. Can you help me find peace of mind?
You did not give any details about your case. You must know that legitimate abortions are performed every day by doctors who sometimes have to take this course to save the mother and the home.
Assuming that the termination of your pregnancy was for selfish reasons, it is clear that you have sinned, as did the parties who had a part in it. God gives life, and we have no right to take it. But we are not to assume that this sin is unforgivable. Moses once killed a man, but found forgiveness, and went on to become one history's great emancipators. Saul of Tarsus had participated in the execution of Stephan, but he had an encounter with Christ on the Damascus Road, and became the first and perhaps greatest Christian missionary. To despair over the magnitude of your sin will only make matters worse. My suggestion is that you come to Him who said: "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." No person, regardless of the extent of their sin, ever responded to this call without finding rest of soul. Don't you delay any longer. God is ready, able, and willing to forgive you and give you His peace.
I have been a loyal church member for many years, but I have never experienced the kind of peace that you are always preaching about. How can I get this peace? Should I leave my church and join another one in order to find it, or will God show me the way through prayer?
There is no church that can give you peace, otherwise more than sixty per cent of the people of the United States would have peace because more than fifty per cent of them are affiliated with churches. It should be obvious then, that church and religious affiliation can never guarantee peace. It may, however, act as a sedative and provide a temporary satisfaction. This would only deceive you. Peace with God comes through a personal relationship with Him. It is the kind of peace that was made possible by the sacrifice of Christ. The Bible says: "For He is our peace, who made both one, and broke down the middle wall of partition; having abolished in His flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; that He might create in Himself of the two one new man, so making peace; and might reconcile them both in one body unto God through the cross, having slain the enmity thereby. And he came and preached peace to you that were far off, and peace to them that were nigh" (Ephesians 2:14-17). This is the kind of peace that you need and you can only find it through that personal act of faith in Christ.
I am discouraged and afraid. My religion has failed me, and now I wonder if a change would bring new hope to me. Would you recommend that I make such a change?
Your plight reminds me of a man I know who had an outdated car which gave him a lot of trouble. He took it to several mechanics who tried to tune it up, but the old motor continued to start hard, miss and jerk. One day a smart mechanic talked him into installing a new motor, and that was the end of his trouble.
For you to just "change your religion" would be like taking the old motor to a new garage. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to be religious without the "new life" that comes when we are born anew. It is like trying to start an old car by pushing it uphill.
So my suggestion to you is: let Christ change your life so that your religion becomes something spontaneous and joyous. Confess your sin, your failures, and your doubts, and say: "Christ, from this moment on, you are in charge of my life." Just stop trying and trust, and you will be amazed at what will happen if you turn all the keys of your life over to Him. Repent of your sins and receive Christ by faith. This is conversion — and you need to be converted!
I'm very mixed up in my spiritual life. At times, I think I'm a Christian and enjoy all the things that Christians enjoy. Then I suddenly have a strong yearning to return to the old life of sin. I know I wouldn't be happy if I did return, but the fact that I sometimes feel like I want to bothers me. How can you explain such a thing?
Your problem is not too unusual although most people don't like to admit it. It is the age-old problem of the spiritual conflict that goes on within each of us. It may be an aggravated condition with you which makes it so serious.
Paul once wrote: "For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are contrary the one to the other; that ye may not do the things that ye would" (Galatians 5:17). This is the battle or the tension that is present in us to a greater or lesser degree. So you see, the spiritual lag that you feel is explained in the Bible.
That does not mean that you accept it as the way it should be. You should make all necessary preparation for this battle which the Bible says "is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces." In Ephesians, chapter six, the Bible tells what preparation you should make. In the meantime, always remember that "Where sin abounds, Grace did much more abound" (Romans 5:20).
You can have complete victory! We are told to submit ourselves unto God and the devil will flee from us. We are also promised that "Sin shall not reign over us."
I have always respected my father until a few weeks ago when I discovered that he had a prison record. Now I wonder if I shouldn't leave home and try to forget him?
You react to this discovery of yours just like so many people do. Of course a prison record is not a thing to be desired. But there must have been something fine about your father to call for your respect up until this time. Don't you realize that a change has taken place to make him a respectable citizen and a father you have been able to love? I do not believe that you should leave home for such a reason, nor should you hold it against your father. Be grateful that he did not continue in a life of crime, and encourage him by giving him your complete confidence. Remember that God has granted His forgiveness to us for the taking. He does not hold against us the past when we receive His Son as our Saviour. He freely forgives and forgets for the sake of His Son. It is this forgiveness and confidence that He shows us that provides the incentive to righteous living.
I have just completed a prison sentence of three years. Upon returning to my home, I find that I am not accepted in society any more. I have no work, and almost no friends. Do you think that I am wrong in being so resentful toward people who will have little to do with me? I want to go straight, but it seems that people want to push me back down where I was.
It is one of the problems common to every person who has violated the law and been imprisoned. Your problem is not new. What you must realize is that you have given them a reason for distrusting you, and now it is up to you to give society a reason for accepting you. It won't be easy, and it is one of the aspects of your punishment. I would suggest two things for you to do. First, face the fact that the burden is upon you to convince society of your purpose to go straight. This will take time and will be painful for you, but it will be worth the effort. Second, discover a power that will hold you true to the purpose you have set before you. You cannot go the road alone, for you too are a social creature. Remember that to begin with, God made you to have fellowship. Even though society cannot forget quickly your crime, God will forgive your sins the moment you take Jesus Christ as your Saviour. You have already gone halfway in repentance in being sorry for your sin. Why not go the other half of the way and turn to God who right now is seeking for your heart and for your faith? If you do that, He will sustain you through the days of readjustment, and even more, He will keep you to the end of life in fellowship that is more precious than the best friend can provide.
Some time ago I recognized my sinfulness and began going to church. For a time I felt better but I was not able to overcome the habits that troubled me. Must I always go on with this unrest in my mind? Is there a solution?
It is quite possible by church attendance and other religious exercises to quiet our conscience temporarily. We may even be helped considerably and our moral standards may be definitely raised, but this is not enough! For Jesus said: "Except a man be born again he cannot see the Kingdom of Heaven." A spiritual regeneration is an absolute necessity according to the words of Jesus. Do not let religion take the place of the new birth. Rather, I would urge you to make a decision to receive Christ into your life and experience the new birth. This way you will obtain a real victory. Then even the church will mean more to you.
I would advise you getting alone with your Bible — read Romans 10:9 — quietly confess Christ. When you have had this encounter with the living Christ, your whole life will be changed.
A few months ago I think I became a Christian. I'm not really sure though, because the decision didn't solve any of my problems. In fact, I have had more trouble since then. Isn't Christianity supposed to solve problems for you?
Yes, a personal faith does solve problems for you, but it doesn't solve them in exactly the way you think they should be solved. You see, a vital faith doesn't take you out of the world, it doesn't pay your bills, it doesn't cure every sickness. You will still have those problems. Paul the apostle had a serious problem, and he prayed about it very earnestly. The problem remained, but God gave Paul enough strength to live with the problem, and that may be what you are supposed to do. The Lord said: "My grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (II Corinthians 12:9).
A true faith in Jesus Christ completely solves a certain class of problems, principally that of sin. This is really man's greatest problem, and from sin come all of the other problems. Salvation is not like aspirin, dulling the nerves to feeling. Salvation goes to the root of the problem and makes a new person out of you. "Him who knew no sin, He made to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him" (II Corinthians 5:21).
My mother committed suicide some time ago. I have since then been obsessed with the fear that I would do the same thing sometime. Can you tell me how to overcome such a fear?
Apart from any religious meaning, I believe you are suffering from a kind of identification with your mother, which is a common thing. No doubt you cared for your mother and also believe that you might have some of the same potential within yourself. You must recognize the fact that there is no reason why you should be compelled to do the same, unless it is a result of concentrating on it. You must divert your mind and begin to think on something else.
Your problem is not only psychological but also spiritual. If you have given yourself completely to Christ and are absolutely surrendered to His control, there can be no thought of suicide. The Apostle Paul once said: "Don't worry over anything whatever. Tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God which transcends human understanding will keep your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus." The Apostle again said: "Fix your minds on the things which are right and pure and beautiful and good." Christ can so completely change your nature and control your mind that you can find complete relief and joy in serving Him. I would suggest that you see your minister and have a frank discussion with him.
I thought that when I became a Christian my problems would somehow be solved. I have had almost more since I became a Christian. What should we expect when we receive Christ?
You should not expect the easy way, for if you do you are certainly destined for disappointment. Any person who knows the Bible knows that the Christian life is likened to an athletic contest or to warfare, and neither one is easy. Jesus said: "In the world ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." In the Bible it is said of Satan that he, "Goeth about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour," and that certainly does not speak of an easy way. Jesus warned His followers to count carefully the cost.
But there is no good thing that comes without cost. The Christian life is most satisfying, but only when we actually go all out and all the way. It is the Christian who tries to compromise who finds life miserable, for he has all the problems without the fellowship that comes through surrender. For every trial and test, Christ supplies an abundance of grace with which to bear it, and in our weakness we are made strong (II Corinthians 12:10).
I have been told that there is no happiness without being a Christian. As a young person, I am finding my happiness in wonderful friends, amusements, and in wholesome activity. I sometimes think I should be a Christian and go to church, but many of the folks I find there are not as happy as I am. Their religion makes them sad and without the fun of life. Is this a part of the Christian life?
True Christianity is seldom found in any one person or even in a group. If certain qualities are present, frequently others are absent. There are many who actually believe that joy and happiness are worldly, while others seek only for the good time. The Christian life is the only genuinely happy life for the happiness and joy of the Christian does not depend upon circumstances. You said that you found yours all in such things as friends, amusements and wholesome recreation. But soon these will fail to provide your joy. Any happiness based on circumstances can quickly change. Only when our joy is founded upon an unchanging person and upon an unfailing love can it endure. Certainly you are not so foolish as to think that your joy will last. Seek the joy that comes from surrender to Christ, and you will have something that will abide through changing conditions and circumstances.
I grew up in a Christian home, but a few years ago I began chasing around with the gang, and did things I'm ashamed of. Now I've met a wonderful girl, and want to be decent. How can I get rid of the ugly memories that torment me?
Truly repent. Get down on your knees and ask God to forgive you. Of course you don't deserve it, but God loves you. He sent His Son to wash away your sins. Accept Jesus as your Saviour. Follow Christ. Let Him lead you into a new life. When you've made a fresh, clean start, God will wipe away all record of your sins. He will remember them no more. You must do the same. Forget the past, except to profit by it. Press on to the future, always asking Christ what you should do.
Say, as Paul did: "This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14). The high calling Paul is speaking of is service. Think not of yourself, but of others. Have you harmed anyone? Then make restitution just as soon as you can. If this is not possible, plan to add to the security and happiness of someone else.
I can hear you say, "Billy, nothing I can ever do will right the wrong I've done." Well, do the best you can. Then give thanks for Christ. He alone can save you! Accept Him at His word, surrender your life to Him, and you will find peace.
