Bad Health, Bad Luck, and Bad Morals
I have a Mongoloid child and three other normal children. My doctor tells me I should put our afflicted child in a special home so that our other children will have proper care and be released from the stigma. What do you think?
I would not want to be put into the position of going against your doctor's advice, but experience has shown that Mongoloid children, if given proper understanding and much love, can be habilitated into society. These children are very lovable, and certainly are in need of love and understanding. You speak of a "stigma." I don't see that there should be any reproach on your family because of this abnormal child. Some physically normal children have personality defects which are worse in some ways.
The tendency today is to seek the easy, convenient way out of difficult situations. You must remember that you must live with yourself, and if the guilt feelings you experience outweigh the release from caring for this needy child, it would seem to be an unwise move to send him to a special home.
Giving love is more blessed than receiving it, for the Bible says: "It is more blessed to give than to receive," and this abnormal child needs your love as much or more than your other children.
Also, perhaps God sent you this child for a special reason known at the moment only by God. This child may be what Dale Evans has called an "Angel Unaware."
A recent operation has revealed a cancer so far advanced that there is no possible cure. I am a Christian and I do so want to show it during these remaining months.
God is giving you a marvelous opportunity, and I believe you will rise to it. After all, everyone in this world must face the inevitability of death. Only the Christian knows how to live and how to die. You know that for you, as a Christian, death will be but the opening up of something so wonderful that no human eye has ever seen anything like it, no human ear has ever heard such glories, and in fact the human imagination cannot conjure up what it is like. Because you have this thrilling hope in your own heart, tell other people about it and ask God to give you the presence and power to make it real to others. It can well be that your witness for Him will be the means of bringing many others to the same hope. Remember, too, the future you have with Christ is for all eternity. The last two chapters in the Bible tell something of what heaven is like. Christ came into this world to redeem us and to enable us to live for Him. He also came to enable us to die with the assurance in our hearts that we shall be with Him forever.
I am suffering from what my doctor calls hypertension. He has given me drugs to quiet my nerves but when they are taken regularly their effectiveness wears off. Do you think that prayer and religion would help me, and if so, what steps should I take?
If what you are seeking through prayer and faith is some immediate relief from your hypertension, you will probably be disappointed and say that prayer and religion don't work. You see, a quiet, confident faith is the result of a vital relationship with God, and God will not give you the effects of a living relationship to Him while you bypass the matter of sin and salvation. Many persons are trying to use religion and faith as a sedative or stimulant, whichever they need most. What we all need is a saving faith in Christ that comes as a result of a frank facing of the fact of our personal sin and guilt. It would not surprise me if your hypertension is definitely related to your alienation from God. Why don't you begin at the beginning, take Christ as your Saviour and trust God for the rest.
Every time I plan to go to church my wife fakes a sick spell, or at least it seems so to me. She is never the deceptive type and that's why I'm so puzzled. Why should she behave this way, and how can I help her?
Your wife's illness may be the real thing, and it is not necessarily an attempt to deceive you. People who are spiritually concerned will react in strange ways without knowing why they do so. She may be disturbed over her sin and need of God and her resistance may well cause the nervous reaction. If she were naturally given to deception it would be put on, but there is reason to believe this is not so. Contact a minister who can present the message of Christ to her and explain how her opposition to the gospel might be the only possible explanation for her condition. This could awaken her to her spiritual need. This could easily be a symptom of conviction, which is the first step toward a true encounter with Christ. When she finds His forgiveness, I think you will find this strange reaction leaving her.
My husband and I go to church quite regularly. One thing that disturbs me greatly is that he always has to leave the service shortly after the sermon begins. He then waits in the car for me. He says he can't stand the crowd and other things, yet he seems to be a perfectly well and normal individual. How can you explain such behavior?
Your husband could be horribly bored, but I doubt that, because it is possible to endure the most boring talk for a short time, and besides you seem to enjoy it. Most likely he is being pricked by something he hears each week. When a group of people listened to Peter preaching one time the Bible records that they were "all pricked in their hearts" (Acts 2:37). People do not usually know what is troubling them when they hear the Bible preached. They often feel uncomfortable during a service. This is a sign that the Holy Spirit is convicting them. It is well that your husband is responding so well, for too many people are quite indifferent to the preaching of the Bible. Pray for him and patiently encourage him to continue. God will convict him in answer to your prayers and he may yet come to the happy experience of personal faith in Christ. When this happens, he will suddenly respond with enthusiasm to what he hears, just as you are now enjoying the preaching of God's Word.
Why do you so often suggest that religion is a cure-all, when modern psychiatry has done so much for mentally disturbed persons?
Religion is not a cure-all, but the gospel of Christ certainly is the only answer to the sin problem. If the problem is one that is related to sin and its consequences, then Christ is the answer, and not psychiatry. If the disturbance is purely a mental one, then a competent psychiatrist might give satisfactory help. It would call for a psychiatrist with real spiritual insight to be able to tell the difference between the purely mental problem and the spiritual problem. Let it be known that Christianity is not opposed to everything modern but only such claims that are not totally true and that do injustice to the claims of the gospel. I wish every mentally disturbed person might be counseled by one who knows the functioning of the human mind and knows equally well the message of deliverance through Jesus Christ.
Recently my wife began to show considerable mental derangement. Finally she had to be committed to a hospital for mental patients. My real problem is that she was such a fine Christian. How will this affect her personal salvation and her relationship to the Lord?
Mental problems are very often related to physical conditions. Your letter seems to indicate that this is the case, and especially at her age. I believe she will pass through this period in a reasonable length of time. Meanwhile you do not need to be concerned about her relationship to the Lord. If her walk with God was established before the mental problem arose, you can be sure that God fully understands the matter better than we. We do not lose our salvation in the time of our greatest trials, for it is then that it means more to us than ever. Paul once said: "I am persuaded that neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." This can be your present hope for one you love so much.
Recently a counselor told me that I was a mild neurotic. He based it upon the fact that I am perpetually distressed with the feeling of being lost. Sometimes I think this could drive me into insanity. Can you explain this problem or help me?
First, you may be assured that you will not go into insanity. You would have little awareness of going insane if you were in actual danger. People who finally go insane are neither concerned about it nor do they feel that it is even possible.
Second, your counselor was right in terming your condition as one of neurosis. Any feeling of inadequacy or inferiority is a form of neurosis if we are not being very factual about it. On the other hand, your feeling of lostness may well be a very real and factual condition. If in your early childhood you went to Sunday school or church and heard the teaching of the Bible, you may still remember just enough to give you the sense of being forever lost. The answer to your problem is not to deny the fact but to find salvation. God may have implanted this lost feeling in your soul until you turn to Him for forgiveness and deliverance. I am sure that if you do this, God will replace the lost feeling with one of belonging to Him.
I am the mother of a retarded child, victim of brain damage during birth. Sometimes God seems cruel and heartless to me for a fleeting moment, but I really know that God is just and that all our children will some day be taken to His bosom again.
There are 120,000 retarded children born in America every year. More than four million people are affected by this problem. So you are not alone.
I can sympathize with you, although I have never experienced your particular problem. I realize the heavy burden you are carrying, and it is not lessened by the curiosity of people who leer at the less fortunate, and often blame the parents for any abnormality of a child. These people lack a proper understanding and love.
We cannot blame God for every so called accident of nature. That would embitter our own lives, and make our sorrow more acute. May I remind you that no life, no situation, no home is perfect. While your problem may be more conspicuous than others, most people have their quota of sorrow and disappointment. They may seem to have escaped difficulties, but if you could see behind the scenes, you would know that they too have heavy burdens.
An implicit faith in God will give you courage, hope, and the ability to accept your lot in life. The Bible says: "Casting all your care on Him, for He careth for you."
I worry constantly. At present time I am almost on the point of a breakdown. I know this is not fitting for a Christian. All those that I have counseled with tell me there is nothing to worry about, but I know there is much to worry about. With a sick husband, a
boy in the Army, an uncertain job, and a few other things, I can't help it. Do you have any suggestions?
For anyone to say you have nothing to worry about is simply showing their ignorance. You certainly have much to worry about. Your problems are great and without God's help, you cannot bear them. You are entitled to worry unless you believe God. Faith and worry are mutually exclusive. I would not tell you that there is nothing to worry about. But what I would tell you is that there is someone who loves you and cares for you. There is someone who knows your problem, and still better, He can take your cares. The Bible says: "Casting all your care on Him for He careth for you." So, although you have much to worry about, let Jesus take that worry. If He can carry the load of your sin and the sin of the world, He can also bear your present burden, lift the load, and give you inner resources that will enable you to live victoriously.
Although I am a Christian and do trust the Lord, I find I am becoming very nervous and irritable — often about quite trifling things. I feel I have just about reached the breaking point and cannot cope any longer. What do you think is wrong with me?
More than one thing may be wrong, but it sounds as though you are physically run-down and have got into a state of nervous exhaustion. In that case you need to relax a bit more, to find time for some recreation, and if possible to get away for a few days holiday.
Remember that as a Christian it is your duty to keep yourself as fit as possible, spiritually and physically. You cannot be the best for God if you drive yourself to the point where you are practically dropping with fatigue and something within you is about to snap.
When the apostles returned from their first preaching tour the Lord Jesus said to them, "Come ye yourselves apart, and rest awhile" (Mark 6:31). He recognized that they had bodies as well as souls. He knew their need of rest if they were to be of further service to Him.
There is something else I would ask you to remember. When Jesus called those apostles to come apart and rest awhile, He was inviting them to spend time in communion with Him. I wonder how that applies to you? Are you finding time each day for fellowship with the Lord?
Nothing so restores mental equilibrium as regular, daily prayer. Try the apostolic formula: "Careful for nothing, prayer for everything, thankful for anything — and then the peace of God will be yours" (Philippians 4:6-7).
I have a chronic intestinal trouble which the doctor says is caused by worry. He tells me to relax, but how can I when the success of my business and the employment of 5000 men and women depends upon me?
Your question indicates that you believe your work is important. If that is true, it is God's work. He has given it to you. And He will help you do it, if you ask Him.
Begin each day by saying the Lord's Prayer. When you come to the words "Give us this day our daily bread" remember that Jesus told us to ask only for the needs of one day. Most of our worries come from being too concerned about the future. When Christ was in Galilee He gave Himself entirely to the work there. He didn't wear Himself out by worrying what would happen to Him in Jerusalem when it was time for Him to go there. He knew that when future trials came, He could meet them with the Father's help.
In the life of Christ we find our example. Trust in God. Each morning ask Him to guide you in the decisions you must make that day. Every hour take time to send a minute prayer to Heaven. You may have felt like a deep-sea diver who is suffocating for want of air. Prayer is the lifeline that brings Divine oxygen to your lungs.
Then when you go from your place of business, leave all thoughts of your work behind. Enjoy your family and friends. Take time to read the Bible daily. Take some recreation each week.
Jesus said: "Take no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself" (Matthew 6:34). Do this. Live one day at a time, trusting in God, and you'll find no need to worry.
I have been mentally sick for several years, though I am much better now. During this sickness I made several sincere vows to God which have been a burden to keep. Now my life is miserable trying to keep them. I fear God's wrath should I break my promises. Tell me what to do.
The Bible has much to say about vows. On the one hand, God warns against making idle vows and says, "When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay, for he hath no pleasure in fools. Better not to have vowed than to vow and not pay" (Ecclesiastes 5:4). Scriptures such as this one are intended by God to give us the strongest warning against making meaningless vows without intending to complete them.
But God is forever an understanding God. He is quick to discern the intentions of His children and consider motives in what we do. Your comfort must be found in another Scripture which says: "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear Him. For He knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust" (Psalm 103:13). None of God's demands are unreasonable, nor will He hold you to the vow when it was made in sincerity, but when you were perhaps not mentally responsible. The Bible says that "His commands are not grievous" (I John 5:3). Commit your problem to Him as to a loving father and let your mind be at rest.
I'm crippled with arthritis and I'm useless. What's the good of living?
God doesn't think you're useless. He needs all kinds of people to do His work. He needs the quick, and the slow. He needs the strong, and the weak. I know a boy without any arms, who paints with his
toes. The lad's courage has inspired many to forget their handicaps. If you are cheerful and patient when in pain, you are witnessing for Christ.
A retired minister spends three hours each day writing friendly notes to those in trouble. His messages bring courage and comfort to thousands every year.
God has something special for you to do. Of course it won't be the same type of work you once did. Ask God how you can serve Him, and He will tell you.
We can't understand why illness comes, but when we suffer we must still trust our Heavenly Father. Then we have more time for prayer than ever before. Pray for others as well as yourself. Pray for those in positions of authority. Pray for peace and justice. Even when lying flat on your back, you can pray. And no prayer is ever wasted. This is one way you can now labor for Christ and His Kingdom.
A few years after my marriage, I yielded to temptation and was unfaithful to my wife for about two years. I know I was wrong, and although I have been true to my marriage vows since then, I have been worried lest God would not forgive my sin.
Few sins are dealt with as severely as the sin of adultery, according to the Bible.
We do not in any way suggest that sin is not serious business. But after facing the seriousness of it, we can never stop short of pointing out that God is a forgiving God. Your sin was so serious that it called for the suffering and death of the Son of God. But His death was so adequate and sufficient that because He died and rose again, God can offer complete forgiveness to every repentant sinner.
But I will tell you the conditions under which God could not forgive you and would not forgive you. If your repentance is not genuine, and if you would like forgiveness while continuing in your sin, then you make it impossible for God to offer you His pardon and restore you to fellowship with Himself, for He is a holy God.
I lived with my husband two months before we were married. I have asked God to forgive me, but I don't feel that He has. Is there any hope for me ever feeling good and clean again? Is divorce the answer?
Yes, of course there is hope for you. You will remember Jesus' tolerance and understanding toward the adulteress to whom He said: "Neither do I condemn thee, go thy way and sin no more." He forgave Mary Magdalene, and the woman at Jacob's well, and they were both guilty of breaking the Seventh Commandment.
Divorce in your case is out of the question and certainly is not the answer to your problem. You must believe God's promises and claim them as your very own. He said: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I John 1:9). You have let this past sin prey on your mind. Now, you must focus your attention away from the past, and on God's promises for the present. He stands ready, not only to forgive you, but to cleanse you from "all unrighteousness." But, you must claim this cleansing as religiously as you have held on to your guilt. As the negative, defeatist thoughts are crowded out of your mind by the positive, regenerating thoughts engendered by God's Spirit, you will find release from the past which has haunted you. May God give you faith to step out on His sure promises.
I am worried about my future. I left my husband and ran off with another man. Now I know I did wrong but it is too late. Is there any hope or way out?
You are but one of many who has made a grave mistake. You have sinned against your husband; against this other man; against yourself; and, against God. But Christ came into the world to save sinners and He came to save you. I do not know how He will untangle the twisted threads of your life but I know that He can and will if you truly repent and turn to Him for forgiveness and for help. The Bible is full of instances of forgiven sin and of God's promises to forgiven sin. That is the Gospel message — Christ died for our sins. In the book of Isaiah, God says to Israel, and He says to us today: "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." One day Jesus was talking to a woman who had sinned as you have. Evidently He saw the sorrow and shame she felt and knew that in her heart she wanted forgiveness and to lead a clean life. He said to her: "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." Turn to Him in full repentance and remember that He loved you so much He died for you. He will not turn you down but will forgive you and make your heart white and clean once more. He will also show you what you will have to do in the future.
Can God forgive an unwed mother?
Of course He can, and will! I used to think that unwed mothers were the hard, immoral type. But one day I visited a home where these girls were brought. I was surprised to note the look of innocence upon most of their faces. They were young, unsophisticated girls who had inadvertently fallen into sin.
The Seventh Commandment is just one of ten. The sin of immorality, although God loathes it as He does all sin, it is no worse than lying, cheating, or stealing. We see examples all through the Bible of God forgiving this sin. Mary Magdalene, the adulteress, and the woman at Jacob's well had all crossed the line of propriety, but they all found forgiveness in Christ.
Some of the great Christians of history have been persons with dark pasts. St. Augustine, John Newman, and a host of others were able to speak the language of sinners, for they had been on both sides of the street. The word Christ has for persons who have broken the Seventh Commandment is: "Neither do I condemn thee; go thy way and sin no more."
My husband has confessed to me that he was having an immoral affair with his secretary, and has since accepted Christ and has joined the church. But I find myself filled with suspicion and doubts about him. How can I conquer these thoughts that have all but ruined my happiness?
This sort of situation always poses problems that have no easy solution. Your husband's confession was a shock to you, and of course at the time you forgave him. But forgiveness involves the act of forgetting. The Bible says that when God forgives us, "He remembers our sins against us no more." It is impossible to genuinely forgive and still harbor resentments. The person who says "I forgive you but I can't forget it" doesn't know the meaning of forgiveness.
You don't mention that your husband has given you any cause for suspicion. The fact that he confessed his wrong was proof in itself that he was sincere, for it takes much courage to do this. You must pray for the grace of forgiveness. An unforgiving spirit can wreck your spiritual life, and could also ruin your home. As long as your husband gives evidence of living for Christ, you should put away any suspicion, for doubting him at this point without cause could discourage him and bring calamity to your marriage. May God give you grace for your difficult assignment.
I have been keeping company with a man for fifteen years. We have broken the Seventh Commandment many times. I could have married him long ago, but did not want to leave my home. Now we are planning to marry. What chance of happiness do we have?
Yours is not an ideal setting for married happiness, but I sincerely hope you can get your lives straightened out. To begin with, your relationship with this man seems to have been on a purely biological level, and sex is certainly not the only ingredient of marital bliss. In fact, marriages that are based on this alone are doomed to failure. The divorce courts are full of disillusioned people who mistakenly thought that animal magnetism was true love.
Do you love this man, and are you both willing to take God into your marriage partnership? The Bible says: "What God hath joined together let no man put asunder." The only really sound marriages are those based on mutual respect. In the light of your continuously breaking the Seventh Commandment, do you two have respect, admiration, and love for each other?
Marriage may ease your conscience a bit, but if I were you two, I would bow before God together and ask Him to forgive you for deliberately breaking His law, and jeopardizing your reputations, and your influence in the community. He has said: "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as wool." With God you can be happy.
After many years of unhappy married life, my husband died leaving me a widow. After his death I lived a very wicked life, satisfying all of the physical passions. I knew it was wrong, but couldn't seem to help myself. For several years I have wanted to be a Christian but somehow have never felt that God could forgive all of this sin. It is hard to believe that He could forgive that kind of life. Is there anything I can do to be saved?
As men we make differences between small and large sins. God does not do this. To Him, any sin however slight is so offensive that it must be treated as the greatest of sins. For example, in Galatians 5:19-21 you will notice that fornication and jealousy are considered almost the same. When Christ died, He died to make atonement for every sin. The Bible says: "For if a man is in Christ, he becomes a new person altogether: the past is finished and gone; everything has become fresh and new. All this is God's doing, for He has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has made us agents of the reconciliation. God was in Christ, personally reconciling the world to himself, not counting their sins against them" (II Corinthians 5:17, Phillips' translation).
The moment you believe in Christ, your past is completely erased and done away with. Accept this provision through faith in Christ.
In that acceptance you are born again. From that time on everything is new.
A friend of mine, who is not a believer, has been suffering all her life with a drunken husband, wayward children, and several serious accidents. Don't you think that some people have their hell here on earth?
The Bible says that "He maketh the sun to shine and the rain to fall on the just and the unjust alike." God does not protect some and leave others to the forces of some unknown power or circumstance. He is aware of the circumstances and details of our lives. In this life, we share alike in suffering and in pleasure. What the future has for each individual depends upon his relationship to Jesus Christ. Suffering and disappointment are often God's signals to us, reminding us of our problem and of our condition. If we see such things in the light of the Bible, then we understand that no one has his hell here, but that certainly there is a heaven for those who have in this life confessed Christ and a hell for those who have refused Him. "He that hath the Son hath life, but he that hath not the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abideth on him." No matter what this life holds for you, make sure that for eternity you have settled the problem of sin and salvation through Jesus Christ.
