Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him.
Genesis 37:3-4
As a chaplain, I deal with police officers on a regular basis, and they are often some of the most admirable people I know. So I was surprised to hear, during a training in Baltimore years ago, that about 78% of these great men and women come from families with backgrounds of physical, verbal, and alcohol abuse. It made me realize: Who better to deal with the dysfunctions of mankind than a person who was raised in a dysfunctional situation? After all, who would show more understanding, more compassion, and more fairness than someone who has struggled in life, and who has gone on to rise above those struggles? It reminded me how God works in our lives -- He wants to transform us, not just in spite of our dysfunctions, but through them.
Joseph came from an extremely dysfunctional family. We see here in Genesis 37 that his father, Jacob, didn't mind playing favorites; he made Joseph a full-body coat of many colors that, in its time, would have distinguished Joseph as princely. Not too surprisingly, Joseph's eleven older brothers "hated him" as a result, and "could not speak peaceably to him." Literally, they couldn't say one nice thing to him. The lines of communication were closed.
Maybe the lines of communication are closed in your family today. Maybe the lack of open communication is tearing apart your family, like it did Joseph's family, as jealousy brews up and bitterness sets in. Let me encourage you to open the lines of communication. Make a phone call, or sit down and listen to each other. Communication is the lifeblood of any family, and if it stops, the family unit will die.
How can we mend our relationships if we're not willing to listen to each other? And how can the Lord work in our lives if we have closed ears to the people around us? Open communication does not just consist of talking, but of listening. Joseph's family was falling apart because people didn't talk to each other -- much less listen to each other.
You see, you can choose to rise above the dysfunction that has caused you and your family pain -- you can open the lines of communication and listen to each other -- or you can let it keep you in therapy the rest of your life. The truth is, every family has its dysfunctions, and it is through the dysfunctions that we grow. It is through the challenges that we improve as husbands, wives, brothers, sisters -- and as children of God. Joseph is a great example to us of someone who suffered because of a dysfunctional family, but who, over the course of his life, became a better person because of it. Today, the Lord wants to transform your life, not just in spite of the dysfunctions, but through them.
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You must be willing to listen.
