Monday, February 22, 2010

One Thousand Years: Genesage " Sarah" (Chp 4:6)

One Thousand Years

Genesage

" Sarah"

(Chp 4:6)

His wife was gone but Sarah? 

How?  How could this happen? Why did it happen? What was the reason behind it all? Sarah, so young, so innocent, how could his baby be gone?

A child molester would have had more sympathy at that moment. But Tom was focused and his rage was complete. He would not forget not would he ever be over Sarah.

She was the delight of his family.

The perfect baby who had been borne at the perfect time, Sarah.

A  child to be cudgeled and spoiled.  Loved as Daddy's little girl. His girl, his Sarah, his daughter; everyone loved Sarah. 

She was the joy of his heart and delight of his soul.

When she laughed, he laughed with her. When she was sad, he would become sad. As she cried, he cried too, and there was not an emotion she felt that he was not there alongside also.

The heart strings were forever intertwined between daughter and Father.

Like the famous Gordian knot to never be undone this knot could not be untied. Alexander the Great had once come upon so great a challenge seeing the knot and how it could never truly be undone he chose the most fitting reply to the question of how to untie the knot….He had severed it with one stroke of his mighty sword. 

Like a circumcision. So too this God…oh he was so fortunate to be "chosen" by “this God”. This God had taken her away. 

God had robbed him and stripped him naked to lie dying in agony.

God stole poor Sarah away.

Yet he lived.

Sobbing miserably,  "Yis'ga'dal v'yis'kadash sh'may ra'bbo…,"[1]

He hardly realized he was mumbling the words that would get him "Special Treatment."

Treatment designed to kill and cause him to suffer even more if that were possible. Treatment for the Chosen, Chosen for treatment, treated such for they were chosen to be.

Numb to the pain now he saw her face again on the day she was butchered.

Like an angel her face was like a Ruth, so peaceful. His angel, his daughter, his Sarah.  Even through all this tribulation that had come upon them, this World Wide Shoah, she was still radiant.

“He could see her like the sunshine, not the rain.”

She had seemed oblivious to it all. She was always smiling and always happy. She had played contented when all around were looking for water or dodging hail, daddy protected her.

She had sang nursery rhymes when the world had lost the Stars, cause Daddy protected her. Daddy kept her safe from harm when the plagues came down. Daddy kept her free from pain when the trumpet blast. Daddy protected her because daddy loved her.

Now she was going away with the nice men to show Daddy what her little girl could do for him.

After all, she loved her daddy so.

When they imprinted her with the Mark, she didn't flinch.

She simply took it, and smiled.

"See Daddy, just for you"

she said with such open eyed innocence.

A deer caught in the spotlight of attention.

Frozen in place he could not forget those beautiful innocent eyes as she looked up at him. Enormous eyes pulling him in, sucking him in, inviting him in. Compelling him to look at her, to pay closer attention to her. 

To see just above the eyes the Mark, the Number, the Name, the number of the name of the only one that could condemn his baby to hell.

There it was for all to see.

And she was so glad to show her daddy.

Tom was shocked into silent horror.

If he breathed he did not know. If he took a breath he was not aware of it. No air escaped his lungs. Neither did any oxygen enter them. Time stood still.

Eternity saw hope leave Tom for good.

The guard who held his baby was smiling. His little girl was preening. Life was moving. But the world had ended for Thomas. At that moment he was empty as a zombie moving through life with no soul. No heart, no being, no life.

Worse still Thomas was soon set free with all the prisoners when one day the guards simply fled. They left leaving all the cells with open doors. No one went far as they were too weak. Besides there was still food in the prison, but Thomas was found by the Christians.

These Latter Days Christians who were so obliging. They were so confident. Full of faith that they were meant to find Tom and his daughter. “Meant to” and “designed to be” as they told his little girl what was wrong with the Mark she had.  

Of course Daddy could fix that too, isn't that what Sarah said when she asked what was wrong. Daddy can make it better she said. Daddy can do it. Daddy wanted to, Daddy needed to.

Daddy desperately wished he knew some way to.

Then those "Christians" arrived. The Latter Days Christians. Those who were “meant to be” in the Tribulation. Or so they said.

He remembered.

Oh how he remembered! He would never forget that look. They were so convincing. They had such obvious faith. An almost a mad obsessed look to their eyes that made it look almost holy.  They were full of such zeal convincing him they could help. They were doing it just for him, and for her eternal soul, they said.

For daddy's girls…

"It's like an exorcism"..,

they said,       

"God will honor it..,

they said,       

"..we're the remnant..,'

they said,       

"…, and the last from after the Rapture so we can do this…,"

So they said.  

"…,and God will accept her into his Kingdom..,"

So they said.  

and so they said, and said, and said,

till Thomas didn't care what they said.

After they completed their "exorcism", Tom watched Sarah scream for the next three hours till she died.

The last look, the last words had said it all.

"Daddy..,"

The look in her eyes as though falling away from him. Falling into a long never ending well of darkness. Receding till the light in her eyes was gone.  Gone and he could no longer see her but only held the empty husk.

The cold and lifeless body that trusted Daddy to fix it all.

Tom could never forgive for that.

What kind of God would do that to His baby?

Beads of sweat poured over his brow. Nothing again would ever be the same. He swore by himself to himself he would never again allow anyone to shame him. Never again allow anyone to blame him. Never to convince him; never to use him; never to lie to him again.

"Never again" would be his motto and never again his epitaph.

God would never again be a name on his lips or in his heart or in his mind.

Thomas Levi Cohen swore at that very hour and night to never be abused again.  No God and no man. No messiah real or otherwise would ever change his heart and mind as  he tore…., as first he rent…. His clothes.

He then managed to shave his face clean of all vestiges of anything anyone would ever have called kosher much less Jewish…, and oh to be so certain, nothing would convince him of Moshiach. 

Nothing. Never again.

In the prison yard he saw the carrion and it became his friend. He saw the bones and the desolate remains of tortured beings that once must have been human but now were not.

He smelled the feces, the rot, and the utter disgust of his own distaste for life.

He bowed his head and his rage boiled. He fell to his knees and his violence in him erupted like a volcano. He cast his head back while on his knees and looked to the heavens. He raised his fist and with every muscle in his face protruding with anger he screamed ….with all the ability he had inside him.

"GOD."

"Damn you." 

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[1] Jewish Prayer for the Dead, Saying Kaddish.

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